A bit about my life.....
I have to me what seems like the worst job in the world. i stand around between 8 and 17 hours and watch other people work. i am a security guard. I work for a logistics company on one of there most exclusive accounts. I have to be a robot. I can't talk, read, write, walk or deviate my attention elsewhere. My work rots my brain and has brought my to the brink of insanity.
On top of this i was on the brink of a pay raise but, because of all the kids at my job who don't take their work even the slightest bit serious and the account managers who choose to hire brainless bodies that do nothing but talk, it was taken away. I have now been in this job for well over a year and the next pay raise won't even be discussed till next august.
This photo is from awhile ago but i think it'a really beautiful one of me and him. He is my reason for waking up everyday and eduring everything i must.
I work with children who are so boarded by what they do, that they spread gossip. This week according to the gossip, I am a bossy racist. I was forced to train 3 little brats for 8 hours and when i was talking to a driver of a truck i was loading he asked me "who ya voting for and what do you think about Palin?" i answered "probably McCain. My problem with Obama is that he voted 'here' 130 times in the senate as opposed to yes or no and, i don't feel comfortable putting someone in office who doesn't assert his opinion". So because I'm white and Obamas' half white half black some how i must be a RACIST!!!!!!!!! This really annoys me. Oh and by the way her reason for voting for Obama was because he was black, so you can guess her reason why she wasn't voting for McCain.
On top of this i was on the brink of a pay raise but, because of all the kids at my job who don't take their work even the slightest bit serious and the account managers who choose to hire brainless bodies that do nothing but talk, it was taken away. I have now been in this job for well over a year and the next pay raise won't even be discussed till next august. I feel like a failure i try to give my son everything he could ever need or want. I want to be a good mom. I buy his fresh vegetables and fruits as well as buy him new clothes every other check. Without a pay raise though i don't know how long it will be until things really grow out of my means. I'm am living less comfortable then i used to and i wish this wasn't so.
The only thing i have going for me right now is school. I don't just want to succeed, I NEED TO SUCCEED. I NEED SOMETHING IN MY LIFE TO GO RIGHT. I'm depressed and i hope someone is rooting for me, so that i can at least have my A.S. within 2 years and have a better job so that i can buy my first house and not worry about money. I just want to live. I just want to be a mom. There is nothing i love more in my life than my son and i want him to one day look back at how i took the worst job in my life to support him, and went to school full time to set a good example to him and realize that i did it all to better him. I want my son to be goal oriented and really see what it really takes to achieve dreams. And i hope to teach how to do it right the first time so that when he gets a job he has the opportunity to do something he loves and never work a day in his life.
This photo is from awhile ago but i think it'a really beautiful one of me and him. He is my reason for waking up everyday and eduring everything i must.
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1 comments:
You know Ashley, I think we all start out at the bottom, unless we are born with a silver spoon in our mouth. When my husband and I first got married we lived in the
3rd floor of an old house turned into apartments. The roof in the top apartment had a peak and you couldnt stand up in the corners! What a pad. Then I got pregnant- baby in a funky room - no way. I worked at Pizza Hut and we had crashed our car, so I had to walk to work, walk to the laundry mat, and if I had cravings--walk there also.
After moving to California, I worked at a dental office, banking, and finally the CHP. That was my dream come true- great money and no degree needed. My husband got on with LAPD and we were finacially great. Bought a house, had new cars, and then bought the 2nd house. Then I had problems with typing, low back pain --and they retired me. Talk about a loss of funds with no raise. I went back to school and finished the LVN course- and waiting to finish the RN.
I believe if you work hard enough you will make it. No one can take your education away and you will always be a great mother. I would get depressed and upset, but I foudn that was a lot of weight on my shoulders. So I work hard to change the things I can, and harder to let the small stuff go. People talk always, that is our nature, so make yourself and take yourself to a new and higher level and really let them talk!
Your son is beautiful, job #1 was done great, just work on the rest.
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